Leanne and Desmond

The poem "The Convergence of the Twain" is literarily superior because it requires a significant amount of intellectual dexterity to discover the beauty within. The vocabulary engaged in this piece is more profound with a touch of elegance. This is evident when juxtaposed with "A Salute to the Servicewomen ". The images conjured are much more abstract in nature as compared to the mere narration of events in "Salute".

Moreover, while the events in "Salute" unfold in a chronological fashion, the stanzas of "Convergence" show themselves to be flashes of elaborately crafted scenes with the flashback technique deftly employed in stanzas VI to IX.

Cumulatively, the bravery depicted in "Salute" is not as striking an impact as the magnificence portrayed in "Convergence". In essence, the lines in "The Convergence of the Twain" prove to be much shorter, sharper and sweeter.

07S53

We feel that “The Convergence of the Twain” is the better of the two poems because it paints a more vivid picture of the actual sinking of titanic. The words used in the poem are more effective in expressing the message of the poet. The second poem is comparatively shallower because it explicitly states the poet's message, leaving little room for readers' response to the poem. The poet achieves this effect by merely describing the chain of events without much use of any metaphors, or literary devices for that matter. This reduces the impact of the poem. This lack of impact is also due to the prose-like form of the poem. This, results in the poem losing the forcefulness in which it conveys its message as the images presented are no longer compacted with the use of concise diction, and delivered with one forceful go. On the other hand, the use of le mot juste, pertinent in “The Convergence of the Twain”, allows room for interpretation on the reader’s part. The rich meaning of the poem is not bluntly put across but the poet allows the reader to slowly collect and form the grand image in his or her mind with very appropriate use of words. The idea of suspense is also present in the poem, through the gradual input of imagery. The rhyme scheme is also very appropriate, such that the rhyme scheme enhances the emotions evoked at the stanza. For instance, the half rhyme used at stanza 8 adds to the atmosphere of the looming Iceberg, suggest that a catastrophe is about to occur. The full rhyme used later when the Titanic sinks also gives a closure to the event, such that there is no way of reversing what has happened. The archaic diction of the poem seems to suggest the idea of timelessness, presenting the notion of fate. Perhaps then, this refers to how pride, no matter which era of time, would also be brought down. The idea of timelessness is also present throughout the poem such that certain stanzas of the poem are presented as a flashback. Such in depth notions apparent in the first poems are certainly not present in the second one. “Twain” may appear a little overly adorned with grandiloquent phrases but it does not come across as exaggerated but rather, brings out the magnificence of the ship itself and also the drama of the incident itself. On the other hand the “Salute” is monotonous and mechanical, making the poem rather dry and at the end of the poem, it barely succeeds in evoking respect and like feelings in the reader for the ‘servicewomen’ even though that is most probably what the poet set out to accomplish.

welcome and your first mission

Here are some links that are very useful for H1 and H2 students.

Feel free to recommend relevant sites for everyone's benefit!

Your first mission (individual or pair) is a performance task. You are an editor of a poetry volume and you have been given 2 submissions. You have to decide on which poem is better. Have fun justifying your decision! Please post your responses in this blog

Poem 1: "The Convergence of the Twain"

I

In a solitude of the sea
Deep from human vanity,
And the Pride of Life that planned her, stilly couches she.

II

Steel chambers, late the pyres
Of her salamandrine fires,
Cold currents thrid, and turn to rhythmic tidal lyres.

III

Over the mirrors meant
To glass the opulent
The sea-worm crawls-grotesque, slimed, dumb, indifferent.

IV

Jewels in joy designed
To ravish the sensuous mind
Lie lightless, all their sparkles bleared and black and blind.

V

Dim moon-eyed fishes near
Gaze at the gilded gear
And query: "What does this vaingloriousness down here?" . . .

VI

Well: while was fashioning
This creature of cleaving wing,
The Immanent Will that stirs and urges everything

VII

Prepared a sinister mate
For her - so gaily great -
A Shape of Ice, for the time far and dissociate.

VIII

And as the smart ship grew
In stature, grace, and hue,
In shadowy silent distance grew the Iceberg too.

IX

Alien they seemed to be:
No mortal eye could see
The intimate welding of their later history,

X

Or sign that they were bent
by paths coincident
On being anon twin halves of one august event,

XI

Till the Spinner of the Years
Said "Now!" And each one hears,
And consummation comes, and jars two hemispheres.

Poem 2: "A Salute to the Servicewomen

You laid down your life for the country.
You braved the high seas in RSS Courageous
Defying the angry waves, duty bound.
Dressed in white and blue
With service star strapped
And with buckles on.
Unaware of the looming collision
Which made you sleep forever.
You were patrolling the shores
So that we could sleep soundly at night.
What can you do for the country? So asked John Kennedy
You have answered the question.
You put the country before self.
Your services will be written in golden book;
Among the first navy officers in uniform
To die for national cause.
The country counted on you for services
In the years to come.
Destiny has charted otherwise
and you were nipped in the bud,
The born dies.
We take pride in your death.
You have full military honours,
The bugler sounding The Last Post.
Family and friends shed tears for you.
Our sympathies go to them; for, it is said,
Sorrow shared is sorrow halved.




Have fun!
Ms Chia